[中][ENG] 舞蹈中的遇見

文：陳韻樂

編者按：畢業於香港演藝學院舞蹈學院的陳韻樂（Michelle），接受過多年芭蕾舞訓練，亦是一位資深的舞蹈教育工作者，而且透過舞蹈接觸過很多不同背景和能力的群體。但Michelle沒有停下腳步，她持續追尋舞蹈的更深層的意義，因緣際遇下，她走進了舞蹈治療的領域，並經過多年的艱苦學習和浸養，最終成為了一位專業認證的舞蹈治療師。舞蹈治療的視野，令Michelle以一個更深刻的角度思考舞蹈。藉著今期《舞蹈手札》的主題，編輯部邀請Michelle撰文，分享她在舞蹈上的心路歷程，以及舞蹈之於生命的反思。

施達基金會於緬甸的探訪活動 Visit to Myanmar by the CEDAR Fund（2016）（照片由陳韻樂提供Photo provided by Michelle Chan）

「我不會跳舞的，因為我的手腳不協調也不靈活。」

「堂堂大男人，怎可以在人面前動來動去呢？」

「我年紀這麼大，行動不方便，筋骨又硬，跳舞不適合我的。」

對於上述的反應，有任何一句讓你有種似曾相識的感覺嗎？自幼從芭蕾舞訓練出身的我，認知的舞蹈總是講求標準及嚴謹規範。習舞過程中訓練舞者的技巧、肌肉耐力、柔軟度、協調性、流暢度、精準度、音樂感、表演性等範疇，都是緊扣著表演藝術中強調美感和藝術性的呈現，往往亦少不了如何做得更好和追求完美的境界。當坊間談及學跳舞，很容易會跟演出、比賽、考試等目標為本的性質掛勾，不期然出現競爭、比較和批判性的心態。處於這種隨時被評頭論足的氛圍下，我們不難理解為何有些人總覺得舞蹈只屬於擁有某種身體條件或有受過訓練的人，並局限了舞蹈的可能性。台灣藝術家蔣勳在《身體美學》一書提到，他相信每一個人都是美的，每一個人最終都將發現自己身體的美是他人不可取代的。舞蹈，是最赤裸的媒介讓人感受身體、心靈及精神上的結合。這支舞包括了生命力與創意的展現、非言語的表達、人與人之間的互動，當中的美絕不只是存在於舞台表演中，還有在生活中與其他身體的相遇。

跨文化的舞蹈相遇

有一段時間，我愛上到訪不同國家，開始帶著好奇和這從小接受舞蹈訓練的身體接觸來自不同文化和種族的人，希望衝擊一下我在慣性認知及經驗中對舞蹈的理解。我赤腳走進了貧民窟的小木屋，是處沒有翻譯、沒有平滑的地板，也沒有音響設備，有的是一張張充滿希冀、渴望聯繫的笑臉。由這裡開始，大家手拉著手，哼唱著旋律民謠，隨著身體的節奏自然擺動，模仿著大家擺出千奇百怪的姿勢，讓一班來自不同文化、初次認識的人就這樣在笑聲中逐漸拉近。對貧民窟的小孩子來說，舞蹈的意義是甚麼？無須帶著目的去爭取獎項和證書，他們很單純地用身體慶祝當下的快樂和與人聯繫。聽上來很簡單，然而這些與技巧訓練不一樣又原始的身體經驗卻喚醒了我對跳舞的初心，亦令我更嚮往這種由自發性主導的舞蹈。當人能夠突破到對舞蹈的慣性思想框架，並用身體連結內在的表達性，就會發現每個人天生都是自己的舞者，並擁有身體這橋樑來表達自己、聯繫他人和世界，體會這份超越言語所描述的歸屬感──回到身體，就是回家了。

施達基金會於緬甸的探訪活動 Visit to Myanmar by the CEDAR Fund（2016）（照片由陳韻樂提供Photo provided by Michelle Chan）

囚禁中的自由空間

這些從不同文化以舞蹈而來的相遇，引領我走向了舞蹈／動作治療的領域，並讓我以舞蹈／動作治療實習生的身分在紐約的一間男子精神病監獄醫院學習以舞蹈動作的媒介進行心理治療。每次進入這保安嚴密的監獄醫院，職員們都要經過五道大鐵閘和懲教職員的檢查。這個與外界隔絕的環境，住了一班因犯了不同嚴重程度刑事案件而被囚禁及同時需要緊急精神支援的男子，當我每次與他們身處在同一個空間，我的胸口總會感到很沉重，彷彿象徵著這個地方承載著的無聲吶喊和不足為外人道的痛苦。作為舞蹈／動作治療實習生，我的職責是透過舞蹈或其他藝術媒介讓住院的病人能夠安全地抒發能量、學習調節情緒和感受他人的同行，並與醫療團隊合作去協助他們的身心狀態恢復平穩。其中有一位我特別深刻的病人，他剛被送入醫院的時候因為觸及極嚴重的刑事罪和處於身心不穩定的狀態，所以一直只能關在獨立的房間內。過了幾個星期，他終於能踏出房間及參與小組。當他聽到音樂的時候，陶醉地在自己的小世界中舞動著身體，我亦純粹在旁邊陪伴和配合著他舞動的節奏，之後他淡然地說「When I dance, I feel like myself」（當我舞動的時候，我感覺到自己），四目交投的一瞬間，我隨即回應了一句「I feel the same」（我也是）。在舞蹈面前，每個人都是平等的，而那位病人所做過的事、精神病的斷症和新聞輿論對他的標籤都已經不能定義他是誰，因為當他舞動時就是聯繫了他最根本和充滿人性的自己，他的靈魂也是自由的。

生命舞台裡的同行

經過不同文化的洗禮和學習後，我成為了註冊的舞蹈／動作治療師，並在疫情期間重回香港開展工作的新一頁，而在際遇的牽引下，我開始與一位七十多歲的女士Brenda在舞蹈中整理她的生命經歷。Brenda有一位特殊需要的兒子國漢，他在2007年加入聖雅各福群會復康服務心飛舞團，每週會恆常習舞和不時參與社區探訪及演出活動。Brenda因國漢熱愛舞蹈的緣故，也逐步接觸跳舞並發現到自己喜歡舞蹈的心是傳承自她的爸爸。Brenda跨出了學舞步的形式，並以生活的所見所感和喜歡的歌曲去創作，作為每一天的儀式。創作過程中，Brenda既是編舞也是舞者，而我是一位見證者和同行者，跟她一起從舞蹈中記錄和反思生活中的高山低谷，並在藝術裡尋找突破、表達和轉化的時刻。今年春天迎來了國漢在心飛舞團榮休的日子，在團長及藝術總監的加持下，Brenda在《無常非苦》的舞蹈劇場中分享了「因為有你」這創作，並與國漢、其他團員和職員一齊起舞，把這份充滿陽光、激勵和感恩氣息的作品送給觀眾──特別是一群悉心照料著有特殊需要孩子的家長和導師職員們。與Brenda在舞蹈中同行的日子，除了豐富了我的人生閱歷，更令我相信無論任何年紀和能力的人都能享受舞蹈中的豐富和藝術感染生命的力量。

身體盛載了記憶、思想和情感；當我們在舞蹈中相遇，猶如平行線上交錯的時刻，身體將這一切都凝聚起來。此時舞蹈再不只是狹義的舞蹈，而是人生故事的寫照。

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陳韻樂

Move2be (Creative Arts Therapy)創辦人及總監、美國註冊督導級舞蹈／動作治療師、認證臨床創傷專員、藝術及精神健康倡議者、真實動作實踐者及獨立舞蹈表演者。

Encounters in Dance

Author: Michelle Chan

Translator: Laura Chan

Editor's Note: Michelle graduated from School of Dance of the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts and received dance training for a long period of time. She was an experienced dance teacher and came into contact with people from different backgrounds and skill levels through dance. Michelle continued to search for the greater meaning of dance, and eventually entered the field of dance therapy, becoming a professional dance therapist after years of education and practice. Dance therapy has allowed Michelle to look at dance from a more profound perspective. To echo the theme of our upcoming issue, the editorial team has invited Michelle to share her own journey in the realm of dance and her reflections on the role of dance in life.

"I can't dance because my limbs are inflexible and uncoordinated."

"I’m a grown man! How could I be seen moving about in front of others?"

"I’m old. My mobility is limited and my body is stiff. Dancing is not for me."

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you? Having done ballet training since I was a child, dance to me has always been about accuracy and stringent standards. Skills, endurance, flexibility, coordination, fluidity, precision, musicality, and performance were requirements closely tied to the demonstration of aesthetics and artistry. Everything was related to the pursuit of improvement and perfection. When we talked about learning to dance, it was easy to associate this with showcases, competitions, and exams, which inadvertently fostered a competitive and critical view of what dance meant. So it is not difficult to understand why many people felt that dance was only for those with physical aptitude or formal training.

That view limited the possibilities of dance. Taiwanese artist Chiang Hsun says in his book Aesthetics of the Body, that he believes that everyone is beautiful and that we all eventually discover that the unique beauty of our own body is irreplaceable. Dance is the most naked form in which we can experience the integration of body, mind, and spirit. Dance includes the expression of vitality and creativity, non-verbal communication, and human interaction. Its beauty exists not only on stage, but also in encounters with other bodies in life.

Cross-cultural Encounters in Dance

Some time ago I fell in love with visiting different countries. With curiosity, I started to approach people from different cultures and races by using my body, which had undergone dance training since childhood, in order to challenge my deep-rooted understanding of what dance is. I walked barefoot into small huts in the slums in Mymanar and Uganda, where there were no translators, no smooth floors, and no sound equipment. Instead, there were children’s smiling faces filled with hope and a longing for connection. We held hands, sang folk songs, swayed to the rhythm of our bodies, and imitated each other's poses. We, strangers from different cultures meeting for the first time, bonded in laughter. What was the meaning of dance to these children in the slums? Rather than pursuing prizes, they simply celebrated the joy of the present and connected with others through their bodies. It sounds simple, yet these natural, instinctive experiences, which were so different from my professional training, awakened my original passion for dancing, making me long for dance of this kind, driven by spontaneity. By breaking free from a narrow perspective on dance and connecting with the inner self through the body, we discover that everyone is inherently their own dancer. Everyone can express themselves and connect with people and the world through their bodies. We can experience a sense of belonging that transcends words — when you come back to your body, you have come home.

《無常非苦》Happiness is Not the A（2023）／攝 Photo：Kenken Ho （照片由聖雅各福群會復康服務心飛舞團提供 Photo provided by St. James' Settlement Dancing Heart Troupe）

Freedom in Imprisonment

These encounters eventually led me to the field of dance/movement therapy. I had the opportunity to use dance and movement as a medium for psychological therapy as an intern in a men's psychiatric prison hospital in New York. Every time we entered this high security institution we had to go through five large steel gates and undergo an inspection by the prison staff. In this isolated environment lived prisoners who had been convicted of committing crimes of varying degrees of severity yet who were in urgent need of spiritual support. When I was with them I always felt a heaviness in my chest, which symbolised the silent cries and unspoken pain which filled the place. As a dance/movement therapy intern, my role was to provide a safe outlet for the hospitalised patients to release their energy, regulate their emotions, and experience connection with others through dance or other arts, as well as to collaborate with the medical team to assist in their physical and mental recovery.

One particular patient left a deep impression on me. When he was first admitted to the hospital, he was placed in a separate room due to the very serious nature of the crime he was involved in and his unstable mental state. After a few weeks he was finally able to come out and participate in group sessions. When he heard the music he danced in a trance in his own small world, while I accompanied and echoed his movements. "When I dance, I feel like myself,” he said calmly, and I responded, “I feel the same,” looking into his eyes. Everyone is indeed equal in dance, and the criminal charges, mental illness, and labels imposed on him no longer defined who he was. When he danced, he connected with his most fundamental and fully human self. His soul was free.

Companions on the Stage of Life

After being immersed in different cultures and learning experiences, I became a registered dance/movement therapist and embarked on my new journey in Hong Kong during the pandemic. I began collaborating with Brenda, a woman in her seventies, to explore her life experiences through dance. Brenda has a son with special needs named Kwok-hon, who joined St. James' Settlement Dancing Heart Troupe in 2007. He regularly practised dance and occasionally participated in community outreach and performances. Through her son's love for dance, Brenda gradually became exposed to dancing herself and discovered her own passion for dance, which was inherited from her father. Brenda went beyond learning dance moves and started creating dance pieces as a daily ritual, drawing on her observations on life and her favourite songs. In the process Brenda was both a choreographer and a dancer, and I was her witness and companion, joining her in documenting and reflecting on her ups and downs through dancing. Together we sought moments of breakthrough, expression, and transformation through art.

In spring this year Kwok-hon retired from the Dancing Heart Troupe, and with the support of the leader and art director, Brenda shared her dance piece titled "Because of You" in the dance theatre performance Happiness is Not the Absence of Problems. She danced with Kwok-hon, other dancers and staff, presenting to the audience a dance filled with sunshine, inspiration and gratitude — especially to the parents and staff who care for children with special needs. These experiences with Brenda have not only enriched my own life, but also reinforced my belief that people of any age and ability can be empowered by dance.

Bodies carry memories, thoughts, and emotions; when we meet in dance, like parallel lines that intersect, our bodies encompass everything. At such moments dance is no longer ‘dance’ in a narrow sense, but becomes a portrayal of our life stories.

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Michelle Chan

Founder and Director of Move2be (Creative Arts Therapy), Board Certified Dance/Movement Therapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist, Arts and Mental Health Advocate, Authentic Movement Practitioner, and independent dance performer.